I joined a journaling challenge for 2023, and although I’m a few days behind (Truthfully? It’s closer to a dozen.), I open the email every morning to see what the topic is.
This hit me hard. "Being triggered is a huge opportunity for growth."
I’ve gone through some relationship changes over the past few years that have affected me both personally and professionally. I’ve had people enter my life who have made such an impact on me that it blows my mind. And my strong and steady crowd who, though very small, I know I can count on 24/7/365.
I think of the fabulous ladies from Sex and the City… and in the words of Carrie Bradshaw, “They say nothing lasts forever; dreams change, trends come and go, but friendships never go out of style.”
While I believe that friendships never go out of style, I believe that many friendships are outgrown. They fizzle out. I’d even go as far as to say they die.
Just like we outgrow jobs, situations, and sadly, clothing—we also outgrow people.
By now you’re wondering what being triggered, growth, and relationships have in common… “Where is she going with this post?”
I’m updating a presentation I gave in 2021 called “Building Your Village: Why a Strong Support System is Crucial When Starting and Maintaining Your Business” for the Erie, PA retreat this spring. (More info below) I’m learning, just by asking friends and acquaintances, that maintaining friendships and relationships gets harder the older you get.
I thought that shit ended in middle school.
“She was like, ‘I’m a pusher, Cady’.” *
Friendship is important, especially for women. Admit it, girlfriends fill a void the guys just can’t. I love spending time with my husband and my male best friend, but there’s something recharging about an evening with the ladies. Something that motivates me to do better and be better than I was before the night began. But what happens when you’re ‘triggered’ by a friend or colleague? Sometimes when you’re pushed over the edge it lights a fire under your ass to work harder. But at what cost?
True friends push you, in a good way. They don’t take ‘no’ for an answer. They ask you ‘why not now?’ when you make up excuses for not taking a chance on yourself or taking that leap with your career. They see your talents and skills and want you to do better, sometimes even better than they are doing. They care about your success and happiness. Pushing can be good.
Twenty Won Female Entrepreneurs
That gentle push paid off for me, and 20 other women. The "why not now" resulted in an Amazon bestselling anthology, Twenty Won, which I created by bringing these women together to tell their stories of business resilience during 2020. I love watching the relationships that have blossomed from this project. I see some of the authors connecting over social media and some are even doing business together. Supporting one another. Being a friend. It's a good feeling!
Have you ever had a friendship or a group of friends that fizzled out? What happens when the table that was so familiar to you doesn’t have room any longer? Or maybe they all got up and found somewhere else to sit. Congressperson Shirley Chisholm said, way back in the 70’s, “if they don’t give you a seat at the table, bring a folding chair.”
Eh. I’m not one who believes in forcing relationships. And I won’t beg someone to be my friend, my colleague, or my client.
You shouldn’t either. If there isn't room at that table, get your own. No triggers. No fake friends. Your own table. You're worth it!
THIS IS IMPORTANT STUFF
And it’s driven me to share the Building Your Village presentation at the Next-Level You retreat in Erie, PA March 31 – April 1.
Some of what are going to talk about includes
In a safe space. With other women who are ready to level-up with their businesses, careers, and friendships.
Be honest… Do you ever daydream about what the Next-Level You will look like? Who is she? What does she wear? Who does she hang out with?
It’s because you’re ambitious. You have goals. Aspirations. Yeah, big ones. And you’ve been taking baby steps. Your time has come.
Picture this …
You escape to a beautiful bed and breakfast near the lake, just as winter tips over into spring …
You immerse yourself in learning from four fabulous facilitators who pour into you with their expertise AND have an open discussion with you about what you’re learning …
You discover your future self, master your energetic alignment with your dreams, talk and write about the transformation that got you where you are today, and intentionally nurture your new vibe with an up-leveled, high-vibe sisterhood.
On top of all that, some of your meals are provided, and you don’t have to make your bed!
Join me and my “A” team; Cori, Merilee, and Renee and get registered for the Next-Level You retreat today! We are keeping it small, just a dozen ladies will join us. Get all the info here.
“Get in loser, we’re going shopping.” *
xo ~ Kel
*Just two of the crazy-good quotes from 2004's Mean Girls. Totally fetch.
Kelli Komondor &